theodore of mopsuestia giggles

hermione took a long second look

couldn't make her up mind

it wasn't a very good sign he thought

she walked away without looking back

fuck it's like the bible he thought

that story of not turning back

or you'd be a block of salt

I guess she read that part as well  

sixty days in solitary

it didn't change a damn thing

he was reading lord mountbatten's autobiography 

and everything became a sorry lament 

he missed the scent

he missed her touch

the insider gags 

about complete monastic seclusion

the long walks to the beach

the sun burnt novels situated in constantinople 

half read and put aside 

what did happen to the girl in the replica seal raincoat?

some things like a stalled pizza delivery car

aren't meant to remembered

just consumed and forgotten
like a stolen heart

The engineers club of odessa

I was eight or nine.
I saw sviatoslav richter
perform his first recital
at the engineers club of odessa

it was long before the genius was crushed
by an unrelenting state
and an unloving mother
unable to push past their inherent flaws

and every so often
until the curtain finally fell on everything
I would slink into the back row
of the engineers club of odessa

and dream of talent and genius
hoping to see a glimpse of it again
maybe this time we'll just let it be
the road to mediocracy is littered with conformity

anglican thug life

I was raised by a pack of anglicans
who were constantly falling down
simply to get up again

and in that tumbling
a chorus
could be heard

I'm so sorry
I'm so sorry in my guilt
I never meant to hurt you

while all the while
we raped africa
and bombed dresden

and when ever I go into a church
my middle finger salute
rises up over my head

thine is the kingdom
and the power
and the glory

The young bruno bauer with his lady at loblaws

we're walking hand in hand
in sync, in step
smiling toothy grins
we seem to be floating
down the isles
past the pop and the beer
colours abound
functional food
packaged fish
frozen meet
sadly cellular automaton
will no longer do
two sets of chromosomes
walking hand in hand
no body could contain
the giddiness of us in awe
they say that joy can't be scientific
immanuel kant may disagree
but these feelings baby
seem to come from nowhere
it's probably the chemicals in our heads

dead drop on the way to the fourseventeen

just when I forgot I was out
I'm dragged back in
just to be reminded that I'm out

I guess you now have everything you've ever wanted
so I'm wondering what it would take to temp you
to leave it all behind like I once did

so here's to you
being as happy
as I am right now

I'm free.

White Sugar

I know you're totally pissed when you cry
and somewhere in the back woods,
is a forgotten tree house

And once there was a desk
full of maps, pictures, your degrees and your plans
and now it's all in a storage somewhere in this town

I can see the alcohol in you hum
don't cry baby, 
there's still time


we'll find that treehouse and desk
your degrees and your plans
if it's the last thing we do

pop song

A clean snow fall.
As I walk across the parking lot towards my car,
the lone streetlight flickers off.

I make a wish.
I wish that this snow will never stop.
It buries everything deep.

And soon my footprints will disappear,
the only thing that remains
is a memory of where I've been.

I hit the light.
I turn left.
The radio chants another pop song.

You're just a memory my phantom friend
left behind with the tire tracks.
What's your name again?

me, you and trois-rivières

We were walking this town
on a another snowy night
and she said
your lies are so big
they have suburbs of their own
and sub divisions full of fibs
you need a transit plan,
to simply get around

so I said
you're an asshole in a bra
and you're becoming the poster girl of your mom
to uptight to get the punchlines
and to lost in the joke
that is your bullet point life plan

we walked past a church
were jesus saves
and jesus bent down
and whispered into my ear
"go ahead and kiss her, you don't know what your missing"

so I did and she said
you're not as clever as mark twain
but you're easy on the eyes
so give me another kiss
and tell me some more tall tales

well there was a corn field near trois-rivières
that used to sing in the rain
and now a box mall stands on the spot
and shits out carbon by the parts per million
crazy enough, its where I fell in love with you

leaving landshut

I was stuck in a circle
of middle range jerks
the brightest bulb was mittelwerk
a door stop if there ever was one

I wanted to be free of the group think
maybe work in a mine up north
and not get caught up
in doctrines expounded in long detached essays

god wasn't to be conceived as mere abstract
he's way to simple for that
he's more like the fools
who bathe in easy fulfillment

I need to stop the analysis of the process
and get into the beat
keep shuffling my feet
enjoy the moment

free from the gossip
of panty waists
and elected cattle
cue the guess who

jets from dayton

I want to thank randy newman
for making that clear
I want to thank him
for simply stating the facts

It was pretty bright
up on the eddy street bridge
and when the cards were dealt
someone had to lose and someone had to jump

I used to run red lights
trying to get arrested
I pictured an angry mother wagging her finger
saying where's a cop when you need one

jesus spoke softly to me
never with malice or judgment
laying the foundation of redemption and rebirth
never a condemning word

I'm running now
I'm getting clean now
and standing outside this trendy pick-up bar
wishing I could go in and quickly down a few

but the chemicals have been balanced
and I find myself swimming to the rescue boat
a decent lady offers me a cup of tea
I think this is ain't bad this ain't bad

in the intervals of connection

theoretical physics was never my specialty

bared from the uranium club of copenhagen
the chairman of the commission for atomic physics
wrote me saying he had no time for dyslexics

moving along, I fell in with a band of wolves
spreading a flawed brand of nuclear fusion
look at it glow, I would say with smile
this little rod is the loneliest of all spent materials

fraternal twins with duplicate snide comments
shouted me down and called me a fraud
they even published a paper at the universitat of leipzig
I left a discharged tenured professor

heinrich himmler was the head of the ss
he wanted to know about hilbert's theory of integral equations
so I sat him down and we talked over coffee about my future
and I asked him about the death camps and the v-one rockets

after the war I ended up in dayton ohio
teaching teens the basics of atoms
those kids are old now and making amends just as I once did,
and I'm dreaming more and more of the innocence of youthful summers

everything is easy, before you get caught up in it
the simplest pleasures are lost, as we move forward
evil is never in the surroundings of debate or ignorance,

it's found in our curiosity of the mysteries of science

michael caine

it's the middle of the morning

when you woke me up

you kissed me with your legs wide open

and that bright light I saw

wasn't the sun

we're traveling

toward the day when you tell me

you're done

moving on.

we'll chat

and I'll tell you that I love you.

you tell me I'm great guy

and you'll close your legs

and move into the darkness

and when my lungs finally collapse

you won't be at my wake

and you won't be on my mind

you'll be someone's else blinding light

First Night

I've been out walking
recovering all the thoughts I've lost
and all the concepts I've forgotten
escape me for the moment

I've been out running
and watching what I eat
losing all the weight I've gained
since I was eighteen

I've been out talking
seems like I lost the touch
words rambles into verse
but the texture had no meaning

I've been out drinking alone again
meet my new friends
they come in forty ounce bottles
from the hardest industrial parks in eastern europe

I've been lying awake
thinking of the first night
and how I've failed you ever since
this winter has to end

Exile on Main Street

she once called me jesus
and like the fool
I even believed it

I told her stories full of lies and deception
I implored her to eat only raw food
and grow her hair long

and last march I had her walk up a mountain naked
it was snowing and the police ended up arresting her
when I bailed her out I told her my work was done

I quoted her Jaquar and Richards
that some times you don't get what you want
but you get what you need

I heard she's married to a mathmatician
and she's back to eating bacon,
she now dresses accordingly for the winter

her in-laws think she's quite the winner
but she's thinking of cutting out the fatty foods
to make herself appear slimmer and happy

and me,
I still like delusions of grandeur
but I'm done pretending to be jesus

I just want a bacon sandwich
and a gallon of liqueur
and a chord of firewood

seeing my former mistress in a brown winter coat again and again

It may be a mid sized town
but it's too small a core of government cubicles
centrally located,
downtown,
not to bump into you time to time,
you were walking down bank street,
your coat was brown,
you may have been thinking about lipstick
or you could have been pondering a new place to eat lunch,
so I hid in a crowd on a corner,
next to a pharmacy,
waiting for the light to change,
it was snowing
and I easily became another face
in another grey afternoon
but I know you saw me
you took a hard long look
I would have said something
but you've made it clear
so I crossed with the light
and had to laugh to myself
the thought of cheap motels
and four years of naive sentiment
a complete metal breakdown
two years of chemical imbalance
one very destroyed reputation
and a lifetime of recovery for being the fool

had gustav fechner lived in suburban north america

this is my lawn
and this my house
and this my electric lawn mower
and this is my middle finger

and this is my rail car
and this is my commute
and this is my phonograph soundtrack
and this is my fuck you face

and this is my job
and this is my cubicle
and this is my cell
and this is my who gives a fuck face

and this is where I buy my liqueur
and this is where I talk to the birds in pubs
and this is where I escape
and this is my fucked up face